Confidence in mid-life and the power of sharing all sides of a woman

With Sara Marshall

Recently I’ve been torn between loving mid-life and navigating all of the challenges that come with it - the big one being the onset of peri-menopause symptoms, which for me were spear-headed by some overwhelming anxiety in the Spring of last year. I’ve put things in place to manage it, but that’s an ongoing thing, not something I can fix, and there’s no doubt about it - my confidence has been knocked. After a nervous system shattering event like the burnout I experienced then, rebuilding takes time. It does feel strange that I’m at a phase in my life where I know myself so well, I know what I will and won’t stand for, and I give much less of a sh*t what people think of me - in many ways I really do have things figured out, but in others I don’t at all. The reality - as ever - is far more nuanced than the ideal that’s sold to us.

So… my recent conversation on Women's Business with Sara Marshall came at the right moment. Sara is a woman I consider to be an absolute badass. She’s a solo mum by choice, she has worked for some of the biggest companies in the world, and there is nothing she doesn’t know about strategy (I don’t think!). Yet, in this conversation she opened up about how she went from feeling invincible in her 20s and 30s, to feeling unsure of herself in mid-life, especially once she became a mum. I had only just done a post on how two things can be true at the same time - and this was further proof! Sara is a badass, and she also struggles with her confidence. Go figure.

Sara said herself mentioned, "When I had my (first) business, the only thing in question was how big I was going to grow in my mind." That mindset is a testament to the resilience and strength acquired over the years, yet that confidence has ebbed and flowed (and now ebbed again) with life’s changes.

For me, a fascinating dynamic emerges when considering how age impacts confidence. From Sara’s perspective, “When you're 20, you're so naive, you don't really give a fuck." Yet, as we transition past our twenties, life experiences shape our perception and often demand a different kind of bravery. With age comes the realisation of our mortality, pushing us to either face our fears head-on or shrink away. It's vital to remember that ageing offers the opportunity to blend the youthful DGAF attitude with seasoned insight and (crucially) perspective, creating a potent recipe for confidence - IF you can re-frame it that way.

On the theme of perspective Sara shared an anecdote about experiencing stress-induced encephalitis. Not much will get your perspective in check more than a life-threatening and self-induced near-death experience! "Don't lose perspective," she advised. "The most important thing in the world is staying alive." Keeping sight of what truly matters - health, happiness, and fulfilment - can help realign our confidence with our personal values and goals, and for me also keeps my fear in check. This thing might stress me out or make me feel anxious, but will it kill me? (Evidence suggests no).

What I really want for mid-life women is to embrace all facets of our identity, including those moments of vulnerability. Confidence for mid-life women isn't about putting on a façade of perfection. It's about acknowledging our full experiences, embracing our vulnerability, valuing the wisdom of our journeys AND sharing that with other women, so we show that in a man’s world, being female is absolutely part of our power. As we honour our whole selves, we redefine what it means to be confident in mid-life and beyond.

Listen to Sara’s wisdom below.

Nicky xx